Talk about new mindsets....

My one free day goes like this-
I go to the Arboretum and walk. I think of who I can talk to to enjoy the flowers and trees and explain all the names too. There is just something about Latin.
I might go to the Library but I always end up in the kids section ooing and awing over all the new stuff for kids. I have to remind myself NOT to check it out.
I check out the books and mags for sale. The Parenting mags are so upgraded and full of fun things to check into doing with kids. I usually but these anyway as they are just 25 cents but it makes me sad I can't use them so I put them under my bed in a plastic box.
Then I buy a few Consumer Report magazines to check out adult stuff.
On the way out the door, my eyes fall upon the free publication shelf and the KIDS  in HOUSTON magazines jump out at me. I know what's in it so I force my hands deeper into my pockets and race out the door, regretting I ever entered the library.
So, I go to the Nature trails for a walk. It just isn't the same  without somebody racing ahead of me, trying to get me to speed up. The vines just don't look the same as they just hang there and don't have kids swinging on them and me glancing around to make sure the park people don't see. The turtles are still there in the bog but it was just fun to run all around and count them and step on the cypress knobs.
I stop by Home Depot for an air filter and the Garden section beacons to me.  Hey, the kids would love these flowers and we could start a veggie garden, raised beds of course. We can google how to make a stone path and birrd bath etc. Everything about Home Depot says "kid fun". They even have Saturday classes.
Somehow, no one in my house gets very excited by my crazy ideas anymore. Things have gotten a lot more sophisticated and I just haven't caught up yet..
Cooking-I can't eat sugar now and if I make these cute little cookies-they just don't have the same effect. I just get a hmmmmm. response. I could make all kinds of fun breads, and a pizza or two. Kids love doing that.
I can't sew anymore as there are just so many fun things to make but adults just don't seem to need costumes and singing skirts for Christmas caroling. My sewing machine is gathering dust.
I love going to corn mazes and pumpkin patches, going to farms where you can pick your own blueberries, getting excied over junk at garage sales, swimming in cool rivers and hunting for crawdads in the mud, gathering shells and hermit crabs at the beach and the list goes on and on.
I think of all the wonderful things I did with my kids and I thank God for all the times we did have. I never thought I would be a mom. As a teen, I only had grand visions of lofty goals and it never included children of my own.
Now I can't seem to easily shake the thoughts and change gears.. It's better than it used to be but it is so funny how things just jump out at me. I need to just sit down and make a whole new plan.

I just pray that young families have as much fun (and exciting learning moments) as I did and value the rare and precious opportunity to raise a family. Some of the comments I have heard lately sadden me as when I look back, I see "richness" and I have a real hard time letting go and moving on. It is so ingrained in my heart.
With all the emphasis on "change" I pray the simple beauties of childhood, life and parenthood, don't get smothered out by trying to achieve, get ahead and be successful in "whatever". So much of what surrounds us  is transient but the things that are eternal shouldn't  ever come as an afterthought.
I just wish I had done more with my kids.....